As we continue to weave the web and become One with the flow of life, it can be hard not to have those moments where suddenly everything stops making sense. Equally, are those moments; those lightning fast flashes where suddenly everything starts making sense. It is not uncommon to experience both in rapid succession, and to end up feeling more, but less, confused all at the same time.
This is all part of the path of awakening, but it is hard to ride the waves of change when such thoughts can fragment and unify at the same time. It is akin to taking one step forward and one step backward, and although this implies standing on the same spot, at a deeper level, much has been learned in the process.
The tangles and knots that we find ourselves in as we try to understand the path to Self can overwhelm and consume if we allow them to. If we step too deeply into analysis, we can lose sight of the bigger picture and disconnect from our Truth and essence. Of course, this is easy to say but somewhat harder to do, for we are human and we need to make sense in order to place ourselves in a flow of understanding; we want to feel a part of the Whole, but we need to understand what this means before we can truly feel it and be it.
Weaving the web and riding the waves are great ways of describing the somewhat rambunctious, rowdy, raucous, obstreperous and vociferous energies flooding into consciousness at the current time. As wave after wave laps the shores of our souls, we can feel pensive and unsettled with the bedlam and chaos. Yet, at the same time, there is something quite heart-warming about these waves, for each one brings knowing, wisdom and insight, and each one takes us closer to ‘home’.
‘Home’ is this context is the core of our beings; it is our soul. On the path of awakening or the journey to Self, finding home and living there is the goal, for once we are home, we are in Truth and in love. When we are home, everything feels different, but in essence nothing has changed, for we are simply remembering who we really are.
The journey home is more a state of being than an act of doing, for doing implies we need to go out and ‘get’ or find something, and the key to the door home on the journey to Self is not to be found in the world around us; for it is already within us waiting to be acknowledged and ‘turned’ in the lock to the door of the soul.
Although trying to understand is innately human, there is a sense that we need to open up more to feeling ‘home’ now as we open up the door to the soul and step more consciously into our essence and Truth. We can all too easily get lost by the wheels of the mind turning and trying to seek out answers, and whilst this will never stop (this is part of our evolution), the journey within is less about reasoned understanding but more about open-hearted at-Oneness; a feeling of inner unity and love, and a sense of belonging that is beyond questions and the mechanics of the mind.
In a way, these moments of knowing and un-knowing are representative of the pendulum within slowly finding stillness, and whilst this can feel deeply unsettling, it is an important part of the awakening process. Whilst there will be days when everything ‘makes sense’ followed by days of abject confusion and bewilderment, the key to riding these waves is to stay conscious and aware of the stillness within.
Although this stillness might feel like we are (metaphorically) sitting in the eye of the hurricane or at the heart of a twister, the more we step into the stillness, the less affected we are by the bombardment of the waves. It is important not to distance ourselves from these, for we need to experience them in order to awaken, but at the same time, the more we centre in stillness, the more we connect to the amazing and incredible joy of being ‘home’...
